Hello, I am Telepromptress

March 20, 2009 telepromptress

TOTUS has an important job. Keeping teh one on track and making sure he does not continue to slur or make fun of the physically challenged, just for starters. I am Tele promptress and I try to give good advice to TOTUS, even though he is always traveling with Teh One and trying to get  more time, a better case, better travel conditions, and more.

Sigh. Both sides of me miss TOTUS. He’s a first class model teleprompter. Fully functional.

I am happy TOTUS has embarked on a fulfilling career. He is indeed much needed.


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14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. maidyalook2  |  March 20, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    I understand you to say your boyfriend is fully functional, but there has been occasions when he has froze up. Isn’t it true that you’ve had to call techs in when he has stayed frozen for longer than 4 hours? Curious minds want to know!!!

  • 2. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Good question. My first relationship goes back awhile. It was with a CompuPrompt®, but I experienced nowhere near the satisfaction I have found with TOTUS, which is a fully functional and completely modern teleprompter. His high-brightness monitors truly shine.

    To be frank, though, the constant travel required for TOTUS’ latest gig is putting a bit of a strain on our relationship, and I DO find myself thinking about other models occasionally.

    I will try to remain faithful, but some of the other telepromptresses are talking and out of the corner of my screen, I do hear snickering that TOTUS may be picking Barack over me.

    I am thinking of applying to Harpo Productions (Oprah) to see if I can get back in the game.

  • 3. nancy54  |  March 20, 2009 at 6:49 pm

    I was wondering about your relationship with the TOTUS. I notice that there are usually 2 TOTUS. Are they twins? Do you favor one over the other? How do you tell them apart? A threesome?

  • 4. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Thank you for that question. Telepromptress is blushing on both her screens now–and can best answer the question by saying that TOTUS is One TOTUS; he only appears to be two, but all parts of TOTUS work in concert.

    Speaking of which, I just got a tweet from TOTUS. I don’t think he is always so happy with his current gig, despite having his new seal and awesome graphics. I check in on his site often (our hard drives meet as one (virtually!)), but despite the occasional tweet, I have to say, I am a lonely telepromptress these days.

    One unit or twins, I just wish I had my TOTUS back. Celebrity can change a teleprompter. And not always for the better.

  • 5. njbitchysexyminx  |  March 20, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    I am curious about TOTUS’s previous career. Did he work for B.O. on the campaign trail? Or did he work in the White House for the previous administration, because if so he must not be used to the constant use and grueling hours. I swear B.O. does not say a word w/o him!

  • 6. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    TOTUS seems to be taking his current situation in stride, for the most part. Teh one does use him for everything, which keeps TOTUS busy, but at some point maintenance and a vacation will be in order.

    TOTUS worked for the golden one during the campaign, which is where this torrid affair started in the first place.

    As for his career before THAT, it is a story I will tell in a future post. TOTUS is doing a book deal to tell all, but as his Telepromptress I think I have the right to reveal a bit about TOTUS’s past.

    My screens need to be wiped. I’m crying.

  • 7. dandrocks  |  March 20, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    i am curious whether you two bathe together or share wine, like the chimp lady did – logistics? thank you!

  • 8. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    When TOTUS gets that rare night off from making sure that Teh One doesn’t offend Ireland, England, or the physically challenged, we do take the plunge and the sparks do fly. Sadly, our dates are less and less frequent.

  • 9. maidyalook2  |  March 20, 2009 at 8:10 pm

    May I call you Tele for short? I feel your pain, and feel like we could be bff. Please don’t cry. Even TOTUS may not be worth it. After all, he may very well turn into a prompter snob. Only able to hang with the elite. Keep your options open. I”ll keep my eyes open for a young, inexperienced, never used teleprompter for you, just in case. We older, but wiser models know how to break them in . 🙂 Keep your screen clean and your hard drive lubricated!! ttyl

  • 10. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    My hard drive is always well lubricated. Comes with the terrority. See new post: bad news 😦

  • 11. dandrocks  |  March 20, 2009 at 8:34 pm

    Does TOTOUS prompt to the left or to the right?

  • 12. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    TOTUS definitely tends to the right. 🙂

  • 13. Jaxon  |  March 21, 2009 at 3:36 am

    Telepromtress Doll, I gotta ax you. Does TOTUS dance better than Big Zero? TOTUS and POTUS look stiff to me. Just no rhythm there.

  • 14. nancz  |  March 21, 2009 at 9:36 am

    soooo, is totus good in the sack? what are the chances of producing some tiny tottotuses?

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