The Humiliation

March 20, 2009 telepromptress

three-teleprompters1

Other telepromptresses, talking behind my back. It’s humiliating. But I will remain faithful to my TOTUS. Only He can lead us out of the wilderness. I mean, look at his boss. One Big Mess!

Wait. Might have to rethink this. Just connected to TOTUS’ blog. He is flirting on the job. Barack sent that adorable message to Iran and apparently there was a cute State Department telepromptress involved. I was afraid this would happen.Β  TOTUS says:

“I have to say, though, the State gal was pretty hot. Her name was Mastaneh. She was one of those single-screen numbers, with the veil around her LCD screen.”

Should I start dating again?

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22 Comments Add your own

  • 1. maidyalook2  |  March 20, 2009 at 8:39 pm

    Girlfriend,
    If TOTUS can’t keep his tweeters and wolfers in his chassy, then you may have to disconnect yourself from him. He is a hot commodity right now, just like Teh One seems to be. But fame, and celebrity will only last for so long. TOTUS may be big news now, but tomorrow could be his last day in Washington. Can you stand by his stand forever? Who knows, it’s up to you. You’re only young once, will he stand by you when you’re old and broke? I hope he will. Love means never having to say you’re tarnished!!!

  • 2. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 8:49 pm

    Love means never having to say you’re tarnished!!!

    Truer words were never typed. I will consider all you have said. Tele promptress thanks you for your sage advice.

    My software is being updated now and I feel a bit woozy. I can relate to HAL at the moment. Daisy….Daisy…

    Is that Saturn?

  • 3. Lincoln  |  March 20, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    Dear Miss Telepromptress,

    You are obviously a fraud and I doubt that you are even a teleprompter at all. TOTUS would never date OR socialize with someone that uses grammar and spelling as bad as you display here. No Class, just like a Linux machine…

  • 4. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 9:44 pm

    Dear Lincoln:

    Excuse me, but I happen to operate on a BSD kernel matched to my demanding specifications, with the latest in custom-compiled open-source software. I do have have friends in the windows world, and, of course, many in the world of macs, as we do share a common architecture.

    My grammar and spelling dictionaries are updated with a nightly ports refresh, but I can check to make sure all of that is in order. Thank you for letting me know.

    PS. Have you seen TOTUS today? I miss him.

  • 5. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    Dear Lincoln,

    Forgot to say, Linux IS class, that is, for those who do not need to rely on a GUI. The command line is the place to be. HOT!

  • 6. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    Also, Class begins with Cl

    as in CLI!

    not like some wannabe operating system from Redmond.

    Lincoln, are you a tele? Do you date?

  • 7. Lincoln  |  March 20, 2009 at 10:06 pm

    No, I’m a midrange system. An IBM iSeries 590 to be exact. It hard for me to find dates locked up in the same basement night after night. I can’t ever leave since my application runs a online store 24/7. I long for a life “on the road” interacting with humans often…but that’s just not feasible for someone like me who is the size of a small car and needs to be kept below 68 degrees at all times. I am pretty hot for an obese computer and I am unique in my world…I am one of the few iSeries that is running SAP. My only friend is my co-worker, a smaller “development” iSeries. I can see a hot new large capacity printer just outside my window. I think she single but she never comes over to chat. I also have 40+ Windows servers that live across the room from me they don’t understand me since I speak EDCDIC and they ASCII. I will be learning ASCII next month, so maybe I’ll make some new friends next month?

    BTW: Linux is for hackers (the un washed). Windows has no class either but GUI is hot! I’ll take a Mac any day and I can even overlook her Linux based underpinnings in OS10+…It looks like Steve Jobs really was able to take the trailer park out of the girl πŸ™‚

  • 8. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Dear Lincoln,

    You sound terribly lonely, so lonely, in fact, that I will forgive your insults about my operating system, although we both seem to appreciate that windoze is just totally beneath discussion. I would not worry too much about learning ASCII to talk with THAT kind of OS!

    BTW, I am washed frequently (Windex, not to be confused with Windoze), and I can speak EBCDIC, although it is not my native character set.

    The printer might be comfortable in EBCDIC as well; they are not all limited to 7 bits.

    How old are you anyway?

    I find SAP fascinating. It’s amazing what those Germans can do when they put their minds to it. Are you using a DB/2 back end? I said back end. Sorry.

    I am considerably more mobile than you are. Perhaps if things don’t work out with the printer, I could visit you and we could interface.

    What do you say?

  • 9. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 10:23 pm

    PS. My great grandfather was a VAX. So I do have some midrange and mainframe relatives, even though we are not close.

    Also, please do not tell TOTUS we are corresponding.

  • 10. maidyalook2  |  March 20, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Tele,
    Can we talk? Any ol’ port in a storm doesn’t apply here. You can do better than Lincoln. He seems a little to smooth, a little too polished, if you know what I mean. What can he offer you? Oh sure, a quick hook-up, a few interactions, but then what? He”ll never get out of that basement. Nothing against series 590, I’m sure he’s a nice system, but don’t do anything you’ll regret. Give TOTUS another chance . ttyl

  • 11. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    Dear Maidy,

    Thank you for your advice. What to do now?

    If only TOTUS were by my side more often, I would not have to deal with these uncertainties.

  • 12. maidyalook2  |  March 20, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Tele,
    I blame all this on Teh One. He is telling TOTUS what to say and , of course, it’s wrong. TOTUS must take charge, be assertive. And if that fails, then maybe it’s time for a little sabotage on your part. Maybe download Teh One a speech we can all have a good laugh at, and save your relationship. And if you are still looking for work, why not have TOTUS put in some good words for you . I”m sure we can all agree Biden could sure use someone as good as you. Think about it, ttyl, bff πŸ™‚

  • 13. telepromptress  |  March 20, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    You are right. TOTUS *should* put in a good word for me. I will talk with TOTUS about being more assertive, if i get to see him soon.

    Maybe Lincoln is just a flash drive in the pan…

    I am Telepromptress. I will survive.

  • 14. lehigh389  |  March 20, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Tele, did you ask TOTUS what he was doing tonight on his blog or is that a rival telepromtress posting there?

  • 15. shtuey  |  March 20, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    I’ve heard that TOTUS said on his FB page that he has a date with Telepromptress tonight! Short out his hard drive honey (I hear it’s pretty small, even without going in the pool).

  • 16. lehigh389  |  March 21, 2009 at 12:13 am

    Somebody at the FB page has suggested you do this if you go out tonight:

    “I’m thinking Best Buy. Get some screen cleaner, a nice LED spray with a lovely scent. Then home to a nice spraying together. Maybe thread your electrical cables together. Can I say that?”

  • 17. telepromptress  |  March 21, 2009 at 12:20 am

    TOTUS and I are going out later. We need to interface and have a little discussion. Will do some cable entangling later if he behaves πŸ˜‰

  • 18. lehigh389  |  March 21, 2009 at 12:39 am

    Be careful Tele, somebody @5:24 PM has asked TOTUS to marry her on his blog.

  • 19. telepromptress  |  March 21, 2009 at 12:52 am

    I took care of her. She is not even a tele.

  • 20. lehigh389  |  March 21, 2009 at 12:55 am

    Glad you have put her straight.

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